Funny Stuff: The Perfect Place to Play "Whack a Honky"

Looking for humor on the streets of Hong Kong.  Good news, you've got millions of friends to help you have fun.  You'll notice like six thousand people in the background of every photo we took on a Hong Kong street.

Hello Kitty store, Mon Kok

Ladies Night Market Mon Kok

Mixed in with these crowds of people are dozens of hawkers and buskers.  Their job is to get you to come to their guesthouse, tailor, massage parlor, etc.  In general, they are harmless, it's how we met Adil, our floor sleeping guest house host of hosts, but you should exercise general caution.  Don't follow one upstairs out of sight or anywhere you wouldn't go with a stranger.

The thing that cracked me up about these guys, was that they were vetting the crowd and picking out the likely targets.  Westerners were very popular.  If Minxi and I were walking down the street together she might pick up one or two, but tailors and rolex watch sales people could see me a mile off.  On the other hand, if Minxi and I were pulling out suitcases, "Whack! Whack!" every guest house peddler in Hong Kong popped up as we went by.  Fending them off reminded me of the game "whack-a-mole" so I invented a new game to play on Hong Kong streets:

Whack a Honky!

Here are the basic rules.   

You get one point for every busker who approaches you.  The standard is one block.  So if three hawkers approach you one block but only two approach you in the next, your high score for the street is three.

Here are some helpful tips:

Carry lots of crap and look lost.  These guys can tell if you need help and are glad to provide it.  They can tell if you need, umbrellas, coats, rooms, or a beer.  The more dazed and hectic you look, the more likely they are to help.  Whack Whack up those points with tons of bags and a vacant stare.

The better dressed you are the more Hong Kong street vendors will go out of their way to help you.  People in suits need more suits, ties, rolexes, video cameras, and massages.  Whack whack whack!

I know that, looking western, I attracted way more attention than Minxi did but she still got her fair share.   There are millions of Chinese tourist in Hong Kong every year and I suspect that your hawkers do well picking out Chinese tourists as well.  Maybe we can track which ethnic groups get whacked the most.

Hong Kong streets really heat up at night.  Nathan Avenue is packed with people from abotu 5:00 pm till 11:00 and the buskers are out there.  Go get them!

Bonus Points:

In front of the mansions and shopping arcades the buskers sometimes hunt in packs.  If you score three or more at the same time, "whack whack!" give yourself a bonus point .

Some buskers hand out coupons, bath oil samples, menus, and other useful stuff.  Give yourself a bonus point for every one of these you pick up, two if you actually use the item.  Whack whack!  (Note: business cards don't count.   Everyone tries to hand  you one of these.  The Chinese are in love with business cards.  It's like Valentine's Day for business people.)

Whack back.  If you really want to mess with a busker's mind.  Try to sell him what you are carrying.  "Sorry, I don't need dim sum right now.  Would you care to buy my umbrella hat?  My daughter got it for me up on The Peak this morning and I'd gladly part with it for $10 HKG.  It's a real steal.  She paid $20."  This totally crosses their wires and might just get rid of that stupid hat.  Two points for trying it, five if it works.

All right.  Now get out there and have fun.  "Whack a Honky!" the Hong Kong Street game everyone is talking about.  "Whack Whack!"

Traditional Chinese Cooking with Minxi: How to Cook Yangshou Beer Fish

I'm still looking for a picture of this so watch this picture for a minute while I give you the instructions for how to cook traditional Yuangshou Beer fish:

Lunch in Kowloon.  Not Beer Fish

Yangshou, which is about an hour outside of Guilin, is famous for a dish called Beer Fish.

Minxi has been kind enough to share the recipe so you can learn how to cook it yourself:

Step One:  Kill a carp.  I worry about why her recipes always start, "kill the animal."  Are there some recipes where you eat the animal...unkilled?  "How to cook live duck,"  maybe?

2.  Clean the fish but do not scale it.   Crust it in ginger and salt.

3.  Grill the fish lightly in oil.  Turn frequently.

4.  Once the fish is golden brown, add green onions, ginger, celery, tomato, shredded abalone sauce, oyster sauce, rice wine, one bottle of beer.  Cover and simmer for 5 to 8 minutes.  Turn the fish then simmer again for 5 more minutes.

There you go, how to cook world famous, Yuangshou beer fish from the Guilin gourmet to you.  

Have a question about traditional Chinese Cooking?  Drop us a line, Minxi knows how to cook a lot more than just beer fish!  Yummy!

We have other recipes too.  Check out our chicken foot soup recipe.

Hokey Honky Kong Honky?

I'm not really a honky tonk kinda guy. I love me some Johnnie Cash, of course, but I picked "Hong Kong Honky" mostly because it was fun to say. I'm getting a lot of mileage out of it though. For example:

I'm Honky Kong!

Honky Meet Domo.  Domo Meet Honky!

Rawr!

This makes her a honky tonk woman

Hmm.  Maybe not.

I'm just Chilling Because every thing is...

"Honky Dory"  

Sorry.  I should have warned you I was having a bad pun attack.  

Bet you wish I'd...

Clam Up!

Sorry.  Sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I'll quit now. 

Seriously, "honki" is a Japanese word that translates as "from the source," or "seriously'"  Seriously...seriously.

Someone should beat me with a stick.

Honky Kong.  That was funny right?

Holidays in China: Yangshuo

It's hard to believe just how beautiful Minxi's part of China really is.  It's like being on holiday all year round.

Who's That sexy bandit?

Hanging out at the Lijong River.  Check out that background!

These photos were taken on the hiking trails around Yangshou, a tourist town about an hour outside of Guilin.   Here's the Google Map:

View Larger Map

Minxi and my's original travel plans included a day trip to Yangshou and we got pretty close. Colonial Sanders saved our life at the KFC in Hezhou just at the bottom right of the screen.  Read the Story of the KFC in Hezhou here.

Yangshou is a local tourist destination for Chinese folks.  Nestled between two of the spectacular mountains and alongside the river, its the sort of out of the way place that really brings tourists in.  Sort of like Yellowstone I suppose.  It's famous for hiking, biking, and boat rides of the river.  It does cater to westerners though. Minxi reports that West street is full of coffee shops and small guest houses where English is spoken.  There are also tons of both local and upscale shops in town.

As you can see, it's some of the most beautiful sightseeing in the world.  There's a regular bus that runs from Guilin or, if you are just wanting to relax, catch a boat and float down in style.

Like everywhere else in China, Yangshuo had its own specialty dishes.  Minxi's favorite recipe from Yangshou is Beer Fish.  We put the beer fish recipe here.

The weather in Yangshou is sort of Portland like, with days and days of rain in the spring.  It's mid-March right now and Minxi reports rain every day since Mid February.  It's never really cold, snow is very rare, but summer or fall are the preferred travel times for a holiday there.

Be aware that Yangshou is very popular with Chinese tourists as well.  Expect it to be packed with vacationers on local holidays.  I spent an hour on the cell phone with Minxi one Saturday while she and some friends rode around town looking for parking.  Remember, China has 1.4 billion people, when they go on holiday, it's a big deal.

Good luck and have fun on your holiday in Yangshou!

Wish Us Luck!!

Minxi and I are going to do several blog posts on how to get your K-1 Visa so your fiancee can come to the USA.  We're still in the middle of the process so we haven't started posting yet but we're all atwitter today because we sent our packet off to the USCIS today.

We'll keep you posted on how it's going wish us luck.

Did I remember the passport copy?  Yes.

Did I remember the cover letter?  Yes.

Did I get the numbers on the right section?  Yes.

When will I stop fretting about it?   Never!  Well, once they answer I guess.  Tick, tick, tick.

Did I remember the copy of...Arrrrgh!

Getting to Know Hong Kong Guest Houses (Small Hotels)

Guest Houses, like Hotels only smaller

Minxi and I stayed in the Angel Guest House, Chug King Manison, Kowloon for the rest of the trip.  Hong Kong has thousands of guest houses and even Angel seemed to have several different sections spread around the Mansion.

I think that "guest house" and "youth hostel" are used pretty interchangeably in Hong Kong.  The two places we stayed featured individual rooms with or without private bathrooms.  We had our own bath at Angel but not at Cosmic.  We didn't see any dormitory style  housing in Kowloon but I've seen online that it's there.  

In general Kowloon Guest houses seem to be narrow hallways with locks on the outer door and then a separate lock on your individual room.  Security seems to be a big deal.  Although the city is not at all violent, purse snatchers and the like do roam the streets so the caution is probably well advised.  At Angel guest house, Adil slept in the hallway.  This was a bit strange when we were trying to head out in the mornings but certainly made us feel secure.  

There's just a couple of tips I would give to people headed out to a Hong Kong guest house.

1.  Guest houses are a great buy in Kowloon.  We paid around $150 HKD (about $30 USD) per night, this was compared to $250 to $2000 HKD for a regular hotel.  True the view out the window looked something like this:

View from Angel Guest House, tsim sha tsui, Kowloon

And the rooms were the size of rice crispy treats:

Cosmic Guest House, tsim sha tsui, Kowloon

But, for the price of a family meal down at KFC, you got a front door that faced right onto Nathan Ave. shopping downtown Kowloon.  Can't beat that:

Main Entrance, Chung King Mansion, Nathan Ave. Kowloon

(Note how thick the shopping is.  The door into Chung King proper leads to a huge, budget shopping gallery, then "Cke" next to it is a second floor, more mid priced shopping mall with food court, then the big name stores are in the mall behind us.  Also, there's SASA cosmetics and a Canon just on the -right there.  Absolutely amazing shopping!)

Guest houses aren't right for everyone, they are small and some are poorly run but for the budget conscious, they are pretty hard to beat.

2.  Know your guesthouses!  Cosmic and Angel were night and day.  At Cosmic the woman wanted to change the price when she saw I was an American, refused to accept Hong Kong Dollars, and completely failed to fix the broken toilet.  Adil, at Angel guest house on the other hand, could be a little surly if you stepped on him at 7:00 am, but gave us his cell phone number so we could reach him, gave us the weekday rate when we asked if we could stay through the weekend, and kept hot water on and a fridge for us to use.  It's hard to get that quality of service at a full price hotel.  

I think that a traveler looking to book a guest house should do two things before they arrive.  First, I would go to Lonely Planet or Trip Advisor and check out the customer reviews.  If a guest house in Hong Kong has more than one or two "horrible" ratings, I'd stay away.  Everyone gets a grouchy customer every now and then but if they're sending guests home angry enough to spend the time to go online and rant about it, just stay away, you've got thousands of other choices.  

I'd also try and call the guest house if I could.  If you can't get someone to talk to you, or if the customer service is bad on the phone, just move on.  

Personally, I'm going to go back to Angel.  They're right on Nathan Avenue and there's a big MTR interchange where three lines come together right underneath.  They've got several numbers on their card.  Adil said his was 6897-8551.  The main number is 2384-0119.  Tell them the Hong Kong Honky sent you.

3.  Remember that youth hostels and guest houses are adventure travel.  Both of the guesthouses we stayed in were pretty clean, but the hallways of the mansions can be gross and bedbugs are a world wide problem though we didn't see any.  Also, the other guests are probably happy adventurers like you but be safe.  Lock your things up, tell Adil about when you'll be back, and have a great time in Hong Kong!!!