Saturday, March 17, 2012

Day 4: Shi Fu Attack!

Minxi and I had planned to stay in Xin Du for about 3 days.  I was happy to do so.  It was peaceful there and everyone seemed determined to feed me to death.  This is not a bad way to die really.

Unfortunately, the Spring Festival had just gotten over and Baba got concerned that we were not going to be able to find space on a bus back to Shenzhen.  It's a work town and everyone who'd come streaming out of it at the beginning of the festival was now streaming back.  While Minxi and I were breakfasting on  grilled pork and greens, Baba sent Minxi's eldest brother off to find us a bus.  So, after a little more that 30 hours in my new hometown, we found ourselves back on the bus, loaded with food and gifts, headed first to Gaungzhou, then to Shenzhen and back across the border into Hong Kong.   It was maybe the longest day ever.

Good by Xindu.  I like being your honky.  I'll come back soon!

The first part of the journey was fine.  We traveled on a small road that passed through a lot of villages.  We passed dozens of small markets, little sawmills, a brick factory that stretched literally for miles, and as we approached Guangzhou, hundred of duck farms stretched out in a long valley.  It was a beautiful day and I got to practice my "through bus window" photography skills.

Typical Street Market in the town of God Knows Where.

Rice Patties

After reviewing my pictures, Minxi announced that, next time we travel, she'll take the pictures, I can write in the blog.

Things started getting hectic for us when we changed buses in Guangzhou.  The bus terminal was about the size of a small mall.

One wing of the Guangzhou bus terminal

Guangzhou is the capital of Guangxi province and pretty much every one was headed through the terminal that day.  There were a lot of different carriers and a lot of different kinds of buses.  There were a half dozen different desks selling tickets to places as far away as Beijing and Tibet.  Minxi asked around and found us a bus that we thought was headed directly to the border crossing in Shenzhen.  It wasn't.  We were on the cross town bus that stopped every few blocks along a dangerously overcrowded highway between the two cities.   It was astounding.  There were cops directing traffic at intersections between four lane and six lane roads, pedestrians and mopeds among cars moving 30 and 40 miles an hour, and bus stops that looked to me very much like clover leaf off ramps on highways.

The real problem was the driver.  In Mandarin Chinese, a shifu is any trade's man.  Cab drivers, water heater repair men, telephone installers, are all called shifu.  The shifu in charge of our bus was, I think someone who gave up serial killing when he discovered how much more damage he could do as a bus driver.  He sped, braked, cursed the other drivers, yelled at potential passengers out the bus door, failed to come to a complete stop while people were boarding, and just generally acted like a dangerous fool. His driving was so bad that people, that's plural, were barfing into little plastic bags (provided by the bus company) at regular intervals.  It took us about four hours to go 60 kilometers and it was pretty much hell.  I learned something important about how China works.  

That whole ride, all of us terrified for our lives, Minxi, miserable, trying not to vomit (she clutched a little bag the whole last hour,) no one ever stood up and said, "You need to slow the F*** down!"

I asked Minxi several times if she wanted to say something to him or wanted me to say something to him.  "No." she said, each time. "He's the shifu."

Even though he was a terrible driver, and these people were physically ill from the way he was throwing the bus around, no one felt it was right to criticize him.  They all sat there and took it.  In China rank and title are very important.  Minxi and I didn't want to leave Xindu but we did because Baba got concerned about bus seats.  The Shifu needed to be tranquilized but no one said anything because he was the shifu.  

I really admire Chinese culture.  They handle huge populations of people with good heart and happy smiles.  The culture isn't violent and there is an amazing cooperativeness.  It's a great culture but it works because you don't question the Shifu or the baba.  People in authority are in authority.  End of story.

We ended up on a local bus driven by a sane person in Guangzhou and made our way back onto the Hong Kong MTR in the dark of the night.  There was a white haired old man on the MTR.  I don't know where he was going or what he was doing, but he had a box that was way to big for him.  I helped him move it.  He looked surprised but then gave me a thumbs up.   He didn't speak any English It was the last time someone looked surprised to see my western face.

By the time we got to the hotel we were both exhausted, Minxi was sick, and I was in no fair mood.  The counter lady made the mistake of trying to argue with us over the room price.  Hmmm.  I didn't say anything I regret.  I'm older and wiser than I used to be but we moved down the street to the Angel Guest house in Chung King Masion.  We would stay there for the rest of our trip.  Exhausted beyond words and with heads spinning, Minxi and I crashed into the bed like a city bus crashing through a flower cart. 

Friday, March 16, 2012

What's Happening in Hong Kong the week of 02/18/2012

Here's some things to check out if you're traveling in Hong Kong Next week:

Try the Hong Kong flower festival at Victoria Park.

Or starting Wednesday, check out the film festival happening at many venues around town.

Charice will be performing at the Star Hall on the 19th

There's an operatic version of "A Mid-Summer's Night's Dream" happening over at the Hong Kong Academy for the Performing arts.

The Hong Kong rugby season is about to kick off.  Get started with Ricki Wood at the Adante Citygate.

If you're feeling adventurous, there's something called "Booty Club A to D" happening over at the Kee club on the 24th and 25th.

At Gallery Exit, Angela Su's art will be on display now through April, 3rd.


Spring is in full, if rainy swing in Hong Kong.  Be sure to get outside.  It's going to be green pretty much everywhere.  (Even the water in the bay.  I'm not kidding.)

Thursday, March 15, 2012

How to Learn Mandarin (Putonghua) or The Shameless Chinese Pod Plug

Minxi and I speak English.   This is because her English sounds something like, "I'm sorry.  I don't understand that word."  And my Mandarin (putonghua) translates something like, "Me sorry, I no taste that word furry." 

But I'm getting better everyday and I'm not afraid to shamelessly plug the people who are helping me.

(Click this Link.  Go to Chinese Pod.  Learn Putonghua.  It is your destiny.)

Chinese Pod offers a ton of different services from written lessons to face to face (via internet) coaching in Mandarin Chinese (putonghua) but the basic format is a twenty minute pod cast "lesson" broadcast from Shanghai, China.  It features Jenni and either John or Ken (it's John in the picture above) chatting for 20 minutes or so about something relevant to China and practicing putonghua or occasionally one of the other languages of China.  The format is structured in levels so that you can find a pod cast teaching not only what you want to learn but also teaching it at a level you can understand.  I still do best with "newbie" but am now taking on some "intermediate" podcasts.   Putonghau means nothing when you start and a lot by the end of the first week.

What makes it great?  Chinese Pod rocks because it's hip and interesting and very funny.  Jenni reports that one of her favorite pass times is grocery shopping.  Ken responds, "Oh for the love of God, why?"    One caller left a message asking for Jenni's phone number.  Chinese Pod responded with an audio clip from the rock song, "Dream On."  These guys are funny and they really know their putonghua!  If you'd listen anyway because it's funny, it makes learning a lot easier.

I started out listening to the "other guys" dare I say Pimsleur.  "Now repeat after me 400 more times:  'Nide lao poa shi zhikong gu." but I was going no where.  Now I keep about 20 Chinese Pod lessons on my MP3 player.  It's faster, more contemporary and much much funnier.  If Pimsleur is chicken nuggets, then Chinese Pod is Peking Duck.

I've been having a facebook message exchange with the guys at Chinese Pod and they told me I should "shout it from the rooftops" so here goes.

*Shouts*  Chinese Pod kicks Pimsleur's ass!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Traditional Chinese Cooking with Minxi: How to Cook Chicken Foot Soup

I've had a request for the Chicken foot soup recipe.  Being somewhat terrified of chicken feet, I don't know the recipe.  Fortunately, it's a traditional Chinese food so Minxi knows how to cook Asia's best.  So here you go.  Chicken foot soup a la Xindu China:

Chicken Foot Soup

Chicken Foot Soup Recipe


First,                   Kill a chicken.  (her words)  Remove the feet and remove the claws from the feet.  Clean foot thoroughly.

Second,             Add chicken feet, and ginger to cold rice water (water that has been run through cooked rice).  Bring to a boil.  Once boiling.  Remove from heat and let cool.  Reboil.

Third,              Add chicken feet to pork stock, add peanuts, pork and or vegetables and season to taste.  Cook at full boil about 20  minutes then simmer 40 minutes to an hour..  Serve as soup with a meal or serve cold later.

There you are, how to cook, Chicken foot soup.  Have a questions about a traditional Chinese recipe?  Drop us a line.  Minxi is a great cook and would love to share her menu.

Here's how to cook some yummy beer fish a la Yangshou.

Update:  4/10/2012:  I found a yummy Jamaican Chicken foot stew recipe here.  It's different than Minxi's.  Try them both and tell me what you think. 

Ten The Best Photos from Hong Kong Feb. 2012

It seems like in every vacation you manage to take one or two pictures that are just better than the others. Minxi and my's trip to Hong Kong in Feb. 2012 was no exception.  Neither one of us are great photographers but still, there were those couple of shots.  Let's take a look.


10.  Funniest:

Mr. Mao and the Chinese Penis Rocket Man

I don't think this needs much description really.  The man in the background is saying something not so subtle.  Great photo.


9.  Most expressive

Hong Kong Guest House Room

This is our hotel room in Mirador Mansion.  It's meant to show the size of the room but somehow I caught a great shot of Minxi's face.  Man she's a hottie!

8.  Best Nature Shot

Lantau Island Tai O harbor Hong Kong

This is looking out over the break water in Tai O.  The day was misty and there were lots of barely visible islands in the distance.


7.  Best Food Porn

seafood dumplings, Kowloon Hong Kong, restaurant food

Pork with lettuce and noodle.  In the background, jellied rice in sesame sauce.  Oh yes.  Love that life!

6.   Best, "Why did you take a picture of that?" 

Hong Kong fire hydrant

The fire hydrants in Hong Kong look like Kenny from South Park.  That's funny.  Explaining why I was taking pictures of fire hydrants; even funnier!

5.  Most Moving Location:

Macau Temple

This is the temple in Macau that the islands are named after.  It winds all the way up the hill on the left.  Minxi and I prayed here for blessings on our marriage.  Very moving.

4.  The money shot.

Chinese family with Baba

I traveled 7700 miles to ask this man if I could marry his daughter.  He said yes.


3.  Scariest Discovery

Hong Kong Island building with bamboo scaffolding

In Hong Kong and Southern China they use bamboo for scaffolding.  This a seventeen story tall building entirely scaffold-ed in bamboo.  I imagine the sign says something like, "climb here and DIE!"

2.  The "I'm a terrible photographer photos:  The Italian Chick

On Macau, we rode around town on this two story tour bus.  I'd spot something I wanted to take a picture of, but every time it came by, I managed to get the Italian chick sitting next to us.  Does anybody know this woman? 'cause I've got lots of photos of her.

sexy Italian woman on Macau bus



1.  The "No Wait.  I'm a Great Photographer" photo.

Minxi and I found this in the photos we took of Victoria Harbor.  Her face isn't just right but look at that skyline!  I even caught the low hanging clouds.  Woof!  How did I do that?  See the little lens effect upper left?  I like to imagine that's Minxi's mom looking out for us.  Awww.

Hong Kong skyline from Hong Kong walk of stars

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Secret Two Word Language of China (Putonghua)

Now I'm not too good at translating Mandarin Chinese (putonghua) to English or English to Mandarin Chinese (putonghua.)  All of my practicing Mandarin before I left for China pretty much amounted to nothing while I was there. I could say, hello. "Ni Hao,"  how are you "ni hao mu?,"  and I knew to call the cab driver a "shi fu."  But the I only knew one response to how are you.  "Wo hung hao."  I'm very well and I had no idea what to tell the cab driver once I had his attention.

I found that a nice smile and some pointing actually go a long way towards providing communication among strangers.  I also found the word of all words, the secret two word sub-language that could communicate almost anything.  I'd heard it before I got into China but underestimated its power.  It's "ai you."  (pronounced eye yo as in eyeball and "Yo MTV Raps.")

Let's practice together:  Ai you.

What makes "ai you" such a great word for English speakers is that it doesn't really mean anything in Mandarin. It's kind of like that loud sigh sound we sometimes say in English or when say "oh boy."  The trick it the tone.

If your tour guide asks you if  you want to walk but you are very tired say, "aaaaiiii yooooh" as if about to collapse.

Then, if your fiancee's brother asks you if you want more of those yummy peanut oil fried cookies say, "ai YO!" as if you've won the lottery.

You think I'm kidding but try it.  Human emotions are the same in any language.  By putting your feelings into a putonghua word that the locals know, you suddenly speak way more of the language than  you ever could by mucking around in the dictionary.  Plus, everyone thought it was really funny that I knew "ai you" so it put me on the right foot right away.

To say that something is very wise, you say, "aiiih you," with a slight nod.  "Aiiih you."